Concatenation
by JustGrace13
Summary: Jean, Logan, and the relationship that wasn't.
Hello! This is an old fic that I just never got around to posting. Please review! Enjoy!

* * *

 **Concatenation**

Jean looks in the mirror as she's getting ready for school and remembers the little girl she used to be - the freak that no one wanted to play with after school - the mutant who couldn't control her powers.

"Hey Jean?" There's a knock on her door.

She doesn't leave her reflection, turning the handle with a wave of her hand. Scott appears in the doorway. "Kitty's driving the kids this morning, so I thought you might want to walk with me instead?"

Jean smiles at the thought of the younger brunette speeding through the school parking lot. "Sure, just let me get my bag."

"Great," Scott beams, giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze as she joins him.

She lets him pull her in and they walk like that, possessively close, all the way to school.

.

The kid made him uncomfortable at first. Telepaths always gave him the heebie-jeebies.

Charles was fine, of course, but every time she looked at him, Logan couldn't help feeling like she was reading his entire life story with those unnervingly green eyes.

.

She was still learning. It was understandable that she would slip up every now and then. Her control wasn't perfect.

But, halfway through a group training session, when Logan's face turns bright red and his eyes accusingly find hers, Jean realizes that she'll have to be more careful about accidentally projecting her fantasies to any involved parties.

.

He's supposed to be a role model, he insists. He's her teacher, for fuck's sake.

Logan watches the younger woman walk out of the room, long hair swaying perfectly behind her, and hates these new morals he seems to have suddenly found.

.

Logan wasn't there, Jean tries to remind herself. He wasn't the one who saved her.

And, of course, she would do anything for the Professor. She's eternally grateful to him, loyal almost to a fault.

But Scott... He was the one who convinced her, the one that made her truly believe. And she knows, deep in her heart, like it or not, that she owes him _everything_.

.

One morning, after Kitty has taken upon herself to make breakfast for the entire team, Logan sits, dumbfounded, as his shredded cheese levitates from the top of his scrambled eggs onto Jean's.

The redhead doesn't skip a beat as she digs into her food, but Logan is absolutely sure he didn't just voice his dislike for cheddar cheese out loud.

With disapproving grunt, he wonders what other stray thoughts the gorgeous telepath might have picked up, and tries to avoid thinking about the ones he wants to keep private.

.

She saw it coming, it had been on his mind constantly for the past few days. She had plenty of time to think up an answer.

When Scott finally confronts her though, and asks just what _exactly_ is going on between them, Jean finds herself stumbling over her words.

She wishes she could ask Logan the same question.

.

 _She's perfect,_ Logan lets himself think in the quietest, darkest crevices of his mind.

Every breath, every movement, every single goddamn hair on her head, he tries to hold it all in his memory, saving his adoration for when he can revel in it without plaguing her mind with his thoughts.

.

"You're both idiots," Jean suddenly blurts out.

Kurt and Evan go silent, officially ending their argument about whether the Wolverine's secret desire was to fly, or be able to generate marshmallows on his claws when he got hungry.

Jean apologizes immediately, but she can't take back her outburst. She excuses herself from the living room and runs a hand through her hair.

She didn't mean to know something so personal, of course. But when people think things so loudly around her, it's hard not to hear...

Logan's greatest wish is the one thing he doesn't think he'll ever be able to achieve.

.

He's furious when he realizes. Did she really think he wouldn't notice?

Her skin had always been unbelievably soft, her hair superhumanly shiny, but it was the absence of the two moles that dotted her shoulder that really gave it away.

"Are you really fucking with the way I see things? _Now_ , of all times?" Logan growls, abruptly pulling away.

Jean looks down at the wrinkled sheets, cheeks flushed, and he watches the scar on her arm reappear, and her eyebrows become asymmetrical once again.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," he mutters to himself. He gets up and paces the room, throwing his hands up and cursing.

"I thought you would know better!" He exclaims, finally finding the appropriate words. "You really think you have to use your powers? On _me_? You think I care about a goddamn freckle? I'd fuck you even if you had 100 freckles."

Jean laughed at the man's outburst before coaxing him back into bed. "I know, I know," she whispered soothingly, "But I had to do _something_ to make you invite me into your room."

.

She watches him leave from her bedroom window. It's still early, the sun has just risen, and the sound of his motorcycle racing away from the mansion grates against her tired mind.

He told her in his mind as he was getting ready, explained how the Professor needs him for some errand.

As if leaving a stupid telepathic goodbye note made it all _ok_.

Jean sighs and climbs back into bed, mentally drowning the deep longing he allows himself to feel for her only once he thinks he's ridden out of her range.

.

Communication was never a strength that Logan claimed. But, when having sex with a telepath, he finds it's not really necessary.

.

She enjoys teasing him. Short memories from the night before, fantasies about what's to come, she loves playing them in his mind at the most inappropriate moments.

And then Scott walks into the room, and her concentration shatters, and Logan's face settles into a heavy frown.

.

Logan accidentally walks in on her packing her things one morning. He swivels on his heel and leaves without a word.

She already knows what he's thinking, and he's too ashamed to admit it.

He wasn't around for her prom, or graduation, and now avoiding her leaving for university... Jean doesn't need her powers to know that he can't stand being reminded of her age.

.

The university she ended up choosing has one of the best scientific research facilities in the country... but it doesn't hurt that she gets to stay close to the Institute as well.

.

Logan visits... once.

He decides college life is still not for him, and settles for seeing her on holidays, when he's not busy with his own wanderings.

.

Jean and Scott, while still casual, are significantly less casual than their previous level of casualness.

.

That year, at Christmas, Logan kisses the top of her head, his lips feather-light on her red hair, when she accidentally walks through the doorway adorned with mistletoe.

Their eyes meet, and he gives her a heavy half-smile. His head thinks _Good to see you again,_ while his heart screams _I love you._

.

On their graduation night, Scott surprises her. He had someone else handle all the plans, and actually surprises her.

And Jean surprises herself by actually meaning it when she says, "Yes."

.

Logan doesn't come to the wedding. She knew he wouldn't.

He still sends a gift, though. And the old motorcycle key, with the little red ribbon tied in a bow, tells her _everything_.


End file.
